The Story that Isn't

You probably heard about today's widely publicized brawl and arrests in the shul at 770 Eastern Parkway, Chabad headquarters.

Are you aware that this ranked among Google's top-four tending stories?

If the MSM and Big Tech promoted this story, this should tell you something about it: it's a total distraction.

Of course, it serves as a reminder of how:

* the Crown Heights community, bereft of competent rabbinic and lay leadership, has become a free-for-all;

* inept gabboim and a corrupt community council refuse to allow any expansion projects but are quick to lock down the shul for 5 months at the government's slightest whim;

* Chabad's so-called leadership upstairs have zero influence in the Crown Heights community — these compromised individuals are persona non grata in the Rebbe's iconic synagogue downstairs;

* young yeshiva students from Israel think they own the place and take badly needed "expansion projects" into their own amateur hands...

But all this misses the point.

Why was this ridiculous squabble and one community’s embarrassing dysfunction considered so newsworthy to the rest of the world?

It's simple. This publicity serves two purposes:

1) it distracts from the real story, how NY's Board of Health is presently cracking down on yeshivas and enforcing their dystopian vax mandates, in Crown Heights in particular;

2) it arouses suspicion of “nefarious Jewish activity” and a supposedly "vast network" of tunnels, invoking the oldest canard in history. "Look! The Jews are up to no good again..."

Of course, this is laughably absurd for anyone who has seen the Tzfati bochurim in action, the mess at Zalman Gurary's abandoned apartment and old Union Mikvah, the shaymos depository under the Union Street shul, or the little crawl space that was crudely excavated by these eccentric boys within the past three weeks.

For the rest of the world, however, this was an irresistible story. "SECRET NETWORK OF TUNNELS dug by JEWISH EXTREMISTS!" the headlines screamed, making sure they sound like Hamas terror tunnels.

To make matters worse, Jew-haters were quick to raise suspicion of human trafficking and other unspeakable crimes, a perfect distraction from the real traffickers and criminals, i.e. Epstein Island guests and their ilk, whose identities the establishment is trying so hard to suppress.

Sadly, the failed leadership of Chabad has brought these horrifically unfounded allegations upon themselves by obsequiously complying with the-powers-that-shouldn't-be with regards to vax mandates, lockdowns, masks, WEF participation, and other ways they've been miserably trying to be "woke."

All those who are making a big deal out of the story are falling for the ruse. In truth, it is a non-story.

There is no "system of tunnels." There is one crude crawlspace that extended a few dozen feet from an old dilapidated basement that had been used to store junk, a small passage that didn't even extend to the shul until this morning.

The "Jewish Extremists" are a few wild yeshiva students who decided to take a badly-needed expansion project into their own hands, as I mentioned above. The story is ridiculous. It's not newsworthy. Not the slightest.

It's just like all the other altercations that have taken place in 770 between the Tzfati bochurim and Community Council clowns over the past few decades, or the petty struggle between the power-hungry "Corporate Chabad elites" (LOL) upstairs and the Crown Heights community members downstairs, or the angry rants of the junior rav ordering everyone to vaccinate or wear masks. Yes, Crown Heights can be a chaotic circus. Nothing new there.

Is that a story?

It only is if you're trying to distract people from the real stories.